Duck Hunt

I never had a gun for my Nintendo... too dangerous. But whenever I visited a friend who had one, you could be certain I was shooting poorly animated, heavily pixelated ducks well into the evening on "Duck Hunt." Unless you sat inches from the TV and scraped the gun against the screen to ensure your aim, you were bound to miss an occasional duck. And the moment you did... enter the mocking dog. You think that's funny, dog? Well, laugh it up, because I just decided what I'm doing with this last bullet.

I've never been hunting, but if I did I imagine that the first time my dog laughed at me for misfiring at a duck would come just seconds before the first time I shot my dog.

I recently learned that Duck Hunt has a game mode where you just fire a machine gun at an endless parade of passing dogs. Now, shooting your insensitive dog occasionally is one thing. Mowing down his entire family... a little extreme. I did it anyway. He knows he deserves it.

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