Smokey the Bear

I know a lot about mobsters... for instance, they are bears. Having just read that, I doubt anyone will be surprised to learn that I've never seen a single Godfather movie or so much as a minute of a Sopranos episode. But based on their trailers and what I've gathered about the mob, mob bosses are a lot like bears. They are big, they are hairy, and they kill people who get in their way. The only difference is that mob bosses have guns. Do bears have guns? Just in case, I'm not going camping... as though I needed more reasons not to camp. As it turns out, I'm addicted to toilets.

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