Rodent of Ridiculous Size
Themes have collided! This week's Toon Club topic was The Princess Bride, and I assume you're already aware of my recent obsession with rodents... or at least with things that can be classified as rodents because they don't resemble anything else. It was an easy call to go with the R.O.U.S. for this week's Toon Club piece, but then I got a little crazy and took the thing from "unusual size" to "ridiculous."If I had a fast food restaurant, my drinks and fries would come in the following sizes: Petitishly Girly, Medium, Unusual, and Ridiculous. Sorry - we don't have "Large." I hate how every fast food place has its own confusing system for food sizes. When I ask for large fries at Wendy's, that means I want your largest container of fries. Oh, I was supposed to call them "Biggie." Yeah - saying that word doesn't make me feel stupid.
That reminds me of a story... in high school I worked at a college concession stand. That's where I found out that nacho cheese is made by adding water to yellow powder. Delicious. So anyway, the worst part of my job was when people ordered the Meal Deal or the Snack Pack, because those were the menu items that included fries, and the guy making the fries couldn't keep up, so if anyone ordred the Meal Deal or Snack Pack, your line would get backed up.
I came up with a solution. By simply adding a few Y's to the menu, I made it so no one wanted to order those items anymore. I proved that college students would refuse to order a "Mealy Dealy" or a "Snacky Packy," no matter how much they wanted fries. Such a thing would make them feel ridiculous... which is the size of this rodent. I'm glad I was able to wrap this story up on the original topic. Essay complete.
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