Our New Couch

This is our new couch. It is as soft as the clouds in heaven where it was made. While I was testing our couch in the store, two women came over and sat beside me. One of them said, "See - this one's too soft?" Too soft? What are you... Goldilocks? The only job a couch has is "being soft." A football helmet can be too soft, but not a couch. Calling a couch too soft is like saying a cookie is too delicious. How dare you insult its only reason for existing? Too soft? Do you know what I say to that? "Soft couch... welcome home."

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